The First Poem Winner

Outstanding Outside

What I like about the outside are the birds chirping in harmony
What I hate about the outside is when I fall on my knee
What I love about the outside is the whisper of the leaves
What I hate about outside is the CRASH of falling trees.

What I like about the outside is the shine of the summer sun
What I hate about the outside is when there is no more fun
What I love about the outside is the crash of the waves
What I hate about outside is the big concrete pavers.

By Skye
Room 7, Redcliffs School, Christchurch
Year 4, aged 8

Congratulations Skye. This is a wonderful poem. When I say it out loud it sounds great.

I love the way you have different kinds of rhyme — the way sun and fun rhyme and waves and pavers rhyme.

I love the alliteration of the shine of the summer sun.

It is okay in a list poem to break the pattern a bit so you have the birds are chirping because there are lots of birds.

I also liked the different kinds of things happening in your poem. Hurt knees and whispering leaves. The sea and the sun. Quiet and loud.

List poems can do all kinds of things as your poem shows. They can make music, they can surprise you and they can make some part of the world come alive (for you it was the outside).

Well done for doing a good job of proof reading too.

Brava Skye, a copy of Macaroni Moon is on the way to you.

I also want to congratulate Lucy and Mia from Room 7. I really enjoyed your poems too. I look forward to seeing some more from you all!

Finally a big thumbs up to Michaela George’s class at Southbridge School in Canterbury. I had fun reading your list poems too.

I am keen to post more poems so keep sending them. I will set the first Poetry Box Challenge for all you young poets on Monday so watch this space.

3 thoughts on “The First Poem Winner

    1. Paula Green Post author

      I hope you keep writing lots of things Skye. I look forward to reading some more poems from you and your class.
      You should get your book soon. Best wishes, Paula

      Reply

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