silly cats, baked-bean cats, cats cats cats!

This week I did some writing workshops at Titirangi Primary School. The children wrote some terrific poems, but what I really loved was the conversation we had about the poems when they read them out. We had an hour and half per session so we could really take our time. The students were great at listening to each other and picking out the little bits of XFactor in each poem. So congratulations budding poets — I really loved working with you. I loved the way you took up the challenges.

I have picked some poems from each session to post. These are from the Year 4 and 5 group. I was in the mood for cat poems, so we wrote about cats (plus a dog or two, a mouse and a bunny!). We went on a big cat word hunt and then used our ears to listen as we wrote.

Luke is aged 8 and is in Year 4. I love the first line of this poem as I am not sure what will come next. I also like the length of the lines he chose. They work well here. And I love the eating! Great job Luke!

Where’s My Snowball?

White blur, white blur

here and there

it looks like a

snowball fight

no, no, no

it is just my cat

chasing a big, juicy rat.

Ruby is aged 10. I love the first line of the poem and I love the last line and I love all the lines in between. This poem tells a little story and it sounds good. Great job Ruby!

My Silly Silly Cat

Tip toeing closer to the pantry

meowing a high pitch

meow

looking around with

big eyes

then gobble gobble gobble,

down goes the whipped cream

and biscuits.

Meg is 9 and in Year 5. Meg is got great detail in her poem. I can picture the cat so well in my  mind because of the real things Meg thought of. Her poem flows well and tells a story. Great job Meg.

A Fat Cat’s Life

My cat always

sleeps on my bed

and begs to be patted.

She is curious because

she was found in the wild.

She loves baked beans

but since she’s fat

she has to eat diet food.

Her eyes are bright and shining.

She hides under my parent’s bed

when other cats are around

because she is scared.

Her fur is short

but it’s soft and smooth,

and she often whines by her food bowl.

Her eyes are half closed when she’s happy.

She plays with a toy mouse

and her name

is Toki.

Kiera is aged 9 and is in Year 5. I love the sounds in this poem — the way you go from dab to dob to red and bed. Kiera has picked lots of words that shine in the line. Plus I liked the ending. It surprised me.Great job Kiera!

Lexus Texas Burger Bear

She’s brown

with a hint of ginger.

She has a dab of white

and a dob of red.

She hides under the bed

and bathes in the sun.

She’s my cat

that one,

as cheeky as she is

wonderful and kind

and all she wants to do

is cuddle up to you.

At night she creeps over the fence

and strides up a tree

and stalks her prey,

and when she comes home

she turns Mum’s hair grey.

Louis is aged 8 and is in Year 4. I love this poem because it surprised me. I like the way the first two lines swap about. I like the word ‘hiss’ on the end of the line. I like the way chase rhymes with pace. There is a lot of splendid action in this poem and some very shiny words. Great job Louis!

Gala

Gala swiftly chasing minor birds

minor birds chasing Gala.

Now they come to peck her.

She sees a dog and starts to hiss

but when the dog

starts to chase,

brown fur on its end,

off she goes

pace by pace.

Oscar is aged 10 and is in Year 5. I love the way you can tell Oscar loves his bunny in this poem. He has chosen great words and his poem has a great rhythm. Great job Oscar!

My Bunny So Cuddly & Cute

A flash of brown, white and black

jumping

all over the place

so so soft and

cuddly.

My bunny is funny,

he nibbles holes

in my pants.

A warm, cosy

bunny, so lovely

to have.

I hear

soft foot

steps on the wood

coming closer

& closer,

So fast and

cute, my favourite

bunny.

Arlo is aged 8 and is in Year 4. I love this poem. Mumford sounds a bit mischievous. Arlo has really made the dog come alive in his poem as he has hunted for great detail.  This poem sounded good read aloud. It told a story. (Yes the dog is named after Mumford and Sons) Great job Arlo!

My Dog Mumford

My dog Mumford

is brown, grey and black

with smooth straight hair

on his back

he always

sleeps on my bed

my feet always feel

his furry little head

he chases our cats

which he gets in trouble for

and then my mum

locks him out the back door

he barks and yaps and then

my mum

lets him n again

but then

he gets my rugby ball

and runs with it right up

the hall.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s