In April I posted tips and challenges on writing poems that sound good.
Thanks for sharing! I loved reading them and saying them out loud.
I really like the way these three poems use sound differently.
Trinity plays with different line lengths so her poem sounds so good.
Vesper has worked on the flow of words so her poem flows beautifully. I love the way the word ‘slicing’ jumps off the line. And the word ‘shines.’ This poem gave me shivers on my skin as I read it. It starts with sound and then builds a picture.
I love the way Daniel and Gemma, brother and sister, wrote a poem together about their grandfather. I think repetition really adds to the sound of the poem beautifully. It is like a little grandfather chant.
I am sending a book to Vesper. If you missed out this time I am posting a new challenge tomorrow (the first day of the month!).
The light shines through the leaves like blades,
slicing through the night air.
I lie in my tent,
I hear the wind howling through the leaves.
I see Vesper the evening star,
watching over the city, and me.
by Vesper W Ilam School (Rm 7, age 6)
Vesper told me that ‘Vesper’ is another name in Latin and Greek mythology for evening star and that it also a name for evening song for evening prayers. How wonderfll is that!
Who is he?
Who is Ganga?
He is tall
Someone to look up to
His hair fuzzes around his ears
And his face shows smile lines
He is kind
Kind of wonderful
Speaks beautiful big words
Like a walking, talking book
He is my Ganga
Who is My Grandad?
He is an armchair Olympian
An awesome team player
Who knows every team
A warrior of words
Crosswords quiver when he picks up his pen
Cruising through retirement
Cruising round the world
Leaving one foot on each tide of the Tasman
He is my Grandad
Who is he?
He is grandfather, father, uncle and husband
He is friend, neighbour and mentor
He is strength, courage and wisdom
He is who we need him to be
By Gemma (10) and Daniel L (6) Adventure School, Porirua
Dip the paintbrush in the blue
Create the waterfall and river outline
Dip the paintbrush in the brown
Create the cliff and sky outline
Get another shade of light blue
Blend the two different blues together
Get another shade of dirt brown
Blend the two different browns together
Trinity Age 10, Year 6, Gladstone School