Tag Archives: visual poems

Here are the last EYE poems (Post 3)

Students at Russley School used their EYES and went on a hunt around the school for inspiration for their poems.

First I will post these two poems and then some photos so you can see what sparked the students’ imagination.

Jacko has chosen a terrific simile for his poem about a flower — and then hunted for words that make that flower an eye-catching image in your mind as you read. Great job Jacko! I am sending you a copy of my poetry book, Macaroni Moon. I hope you have FUN reading it. Let me know your favourite poem.

The second poem is a team effort which is a great idea!  Emily and Jayda also used their EYES to hunt for fascinating things and simmering similes.

These young poets have shown us poems are everywhere — right in front of your eyes! In your back garden and your school playground.

Feel free to send me your poem! I might post a few more throughout the year.

 

Screen shot 2014-03-28 at 7.05.14 AM

Screen shot 2014-03-28 at 7.18.56 AM

 

Here are the photos. Spot their points of inspiration:

elephant trunk chess board flamingo flowers

 

Here are the second lot of EYE-ZINGING poems (Post 2)

 

Here is Post 2 with some great EYE poems. Everyone used their EYES and everyone went hunting for EYE zinging words. I need to stock up on book prizes so just a handful to give away today.

 

 

Some students from Golden Sands School at Papamoa sent in poems that had EYE popping detail. The juicy words made the subjects of their poems come alive. I loved them all but I have picked some to post. Great job—they were all fabulous poems.

 

I am sending Cole a copy of Creepy Crawlies (amazing animal facts and puzzles to match his cool bat poem) and thanks to the lovely author Melanie Koster I am sending Olivia a copy of Melanie’s book, The Reluctant Little Flower Girl (this has gorgeous illustrations by Jenny Cooper and is about feisty flower girl!).

 

It’s marble like eyes

watch intently

over the land.

 

Its striped feathers

rustle as

its wings spread.

 

By Joshua, aged 7 years. 

 

 

Wings spread out like a speck of a tree

Slimy skin slides across the stone brick wall

Eyes of the bat are a fluro red colour

He is looking at you …

 

The Bat.

By Cole, aged 8 

 

 

The Mystery Animal

The razor sharp teeth are as white as the bright

glistening moon shining on the water.

By Joe, aged 8

 

The turquoise scales are like shooting stars;

The shimmer of the surfaces where they look like cars.

Their diverse bodies like slimey gunge,

All cold and wet like a slippery sponge.

As the sun goes down don’t make a peep,

As the aquatic creatures are sleeping

down deep

deep

deep

Aria, aged 10.

 

White Kiwi

Feathers as white as the glowing moon on the night sky

Shuffling along the track moving the crisp leaves as it goes

Night passes over the land as it peeps out

By Olivia, aged 8, Year 4

 

 

Tiger

With its strong body the tiger prowls through the

green jungle like the sly hunter it is.

 

It pounces off a tree like a monkey

and lands on its four feet.

 

Its fiery eyes stare at me with confidence as

if it was going to jump on me like a big, crazy dog

 

It opens its ferocious mouth

and roars like the king

it wants to be.

 

It’s terrific tail swishes around in the

wondrous wind like a million seagulls fighting

over one tiny piece of bread.

Maya, aged 9

 

 

The old

wrinkled

grey elephant

with feet as massive as river rocks

and ears flapping like a bird

reluctantly plods

through the grass

Phoebe, aged 10.

 

Mist swirled

twinkling fingers of pale sunlight

like the silent echo of birdsong

lanced through silky white fur

like soft milky moonshine.

Madi, aged 9

 

 

EYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEBLUEYEYEYEYEYE

 

Damian has found great detail to make a picture of a tree shine on the page.

 

My Tree 

My favourite tree so broad and bold

surrounded by leaves

it has scattered when old,

the bark so rough

and its wood

so tough,

its long branches

when blown around

swing and dance,

its roots so deep

covered by dirt,

keeping it up so tall and steep

Damian, 11 years old, Bream Bay College, Whangarei

 

 

EYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEBROWNEYEYEYEYEBLUEYEYEYEYEYE

 

 

Ellie has used rhyme and short lines to make a poem that has terrific rhythm and EYES at the centre. Great job Ellie!

 

What Eyes Show

Eyes know

Where minds go

Stories old

Stories told

 

Green and blue

Hazel too

Flecks are poised, like birds in flight

they flit between the dark and light

 

Angry glaring

Lonely staring

Slyly peeking

True love seeking

 

Eyes show

Where minds go

Dreams met

Secrets kept

By Ellie, age 12, Year 8, Prebbleton School, Christchurch

 

 

EYEYEYEYEYEYSILVERYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEBLUEYEYEYEYEYE

 

 

Students at Glen Eden Primary School also sent in some terrific poems. I have picked a few to post.They have used some ELECTRIC similes to make their poems zing and pop.

 

Great White Shark

Great White Sharks are fast like the wind

And Superman

Swimming fast and strong

Like the Hulk

Scary and horrifying

Sharp teeth like a knife

By James K (Year 4)

 

Diamond Crazy Green Fish

Green like grass

Crazy like me

Diamondy like a crystal

Shiny like the sun

Spotty like a jacket

Crazy fish

By Ferila (Year 4)

 

Spooky Fish

Wobbly like a snake

Big like an elephant

Sharp like a torpedo

Strong like superman

Fast like a car

Spooky like a ghost

By Jerome (Year 4)

 

 

 

EYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYBRIGHTYEYEYEYEBLUEYEYEYEYEYE

 

 

Room 8 at Ohaupo School sent in a bunch of cool EYE poems. They looked a bit like eyes on the page and had eyes as their subjects. I like the way the young poets went hunting for eye words and found words that surprised me!

 

I loved reading them all but here are a couple of my favourites (I love the word ‘cucumber’ in a poem so I am sending Sophie a copy of one my favourite Gecko Press picture books, Donkeys):

 

Eyes

Beauty

Shimmering, beaming

Twinkling, gleaming, beady eyes

Golden, inky, sparkling, sunless

Pitch black, rayless, dusky

Faint, murky

Sooty

By Ashtyn, Year 6, aged 10

 

 

 

Eyes

Green alien

Spying, sneaking, twitching

Emerald jelly

Gooey gumballs

Sophie, Year 6, aged 1 0

 

Eyes

Coffee brown

Winking, flashing, observing

Coco chocolate

Crackling walnuts

 

By: Aimee O’Connor

Year: 7   Ages: 11

 

 

 

Eyes

Dark

Chilling, bloodcurdling

Flashing, petrifying, alarming

Blind, shinnying, sleeping, steering

Unlocked, unbolted, unfastened

Magnificent, dawning

By: Elizabeth, age 11, Year: 7

 

Blue eyes

Sapphire, ocean blue

Shinning, blinking, concentrating

Navy, icy blue, emerald, light

Olive, cucumber, forest green

Pickle green

Green eyes

Sophie, Year 6, age10

 

 

 

Here are some of my favourite EYE catching poems (Post 1- mostly picture poems)

Thank you for trying out my EYE catching challenges. I have loved reading all the poems. It was really tough picking some to post as I can’t post them all. But what fun you had and what fun I had reading them all.

You really have used your EYES!

I am posting these in THREE parts.

I have picked one or two young poets to send a book. I couldn’t post all the poems so if you didn’t get posted this time DO try again. I will be posting the first  April Poetry Challenge on Tuesday.

Screen shot 2014-03-25 at 2.21.36 PM

I don’t usually get to use colour on Poetry Box but because I am taking screen shots of all your beautiful poems, the colour stays! I love the layers in Gemma‘s poem. There are EYES here, YES! And there are different ways of SEEING things. This is a great topic for a poem — the way things are DIFFERENT depending on who is LOOKING! Marvellous poem Gemma!

Gemma is aged 8 and is in Year 4 at Adventure School in Porirua. This is what she told me about her poem: “It is partly true… my cat really does think she’s a lion. I guess we have different purrspectives!” Thanks Gemma.  Screen shot 2014-03-25 at 2.12.10 PM

This is an EYE poem by Jack that really is an EYE poem. You will have to squivvel and swivle to read which is cool. Jack is in Year 6 and goes to Fendalton Open Air School. He is aged 9 and a regular contributor to Poetry Box.

Screen shot 2014-03-25 at 1.50.36 PM

Hawwa’s poem plays with how the words look on the page (this is fun to do!). It is a mysterious poem that I enjoyed reading. I tried just reading the big words which was fun. And then the whole thing. Great job Hawwa!

Screen shot 2014-03-25 at 1.39.05 PM

 

Above is Daniel‘s terrific apple poem. I love all the bright red ‘o’s like little red apples on the tree. Daniel is 5 and in year 1 at Adventure School in Porirua. He has done a picture poem (concrete poem) that makes a picture glow on the page and a picture glow in your head. Great job Daniel!

And below is Jack‘s terrific piano poem or poem piano! You can almost play the notes and lines and let them sing out. Great job Jack. As I said above, Jack is in Year 6 and goes to Fendalton Open Air School. He is aged 9 and a regular contributor to Poetry Box. I am sending Jack a copy of a Sticker World Atlas so he can have exploring other places. Maybe he can write a poem about somewhere he ends up! And send it to me! Great job Jack!

Screen shot 2014-03-25 at 1.34.39 PM
Screen shot 2014-03-27 at 12.52.21 PM

Finally Ewen‘s poem about a walk she did on her camp in Kaituna Valley. I love the way the words loop around and back like when you go up and down a mountain. Her poem makes a picture on the page (concrete poetry) but it sings too! I loved the lines ‘through the bush streams mud and cow poo. Up steep and thin paths.’ Great job Ewen. Ewen is in Year 7, aged 11 and goes to Cobham Intermediate in Christchurch. This is the photo of the view:

images

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

an EYE number plate that is an EYE poem

Bjr_garCIAAs2qo.jpg-medium

Poet Bill Manhire tweeted this very cool photo of his car number plate.

When I was out driving with my girls when they were young, we used to try and turn number plates into poems … actually I still do sometimes when I am on a long drive.

Bill’s number plate is a poem by Aram Saroyran.

paint a p o e m p i c t u r e

Some poets like to write poems that fill the reader’s head with pictures.

Give it a go.

Pick something you want to make a picture with words.

You want the picture to grow in the mind of the reader so it is not like my picture poems that make a picture on the page. Tricky!

You could pick the hills you see on the way to school, or the cloudy sky, or the tree in your back garden.

Go hunting for words that tell me what it looks like. You will have to stop and look before you start writing.  Pay attention to everything and hunt for words that show detail. Find REAL detail like a poet detective.

Then write a poem.  Show it to someone and see if they get the picture in their head.

You could write the poem and not say what the thing is.  Or say it at the end.

 

You can enter this in the Eye-Poem Challenge.

DEADLINE for your Eye-Poem Challenge: Thursday March 27th

Send to paulajoygreen@gmail.com. Include your name, year, age and name of school. You can include your teacher’s name and email. PLEASE say it’s for the eye-poem challenge.

I will post my favourites and have a book prize for one poet.

Send me a POSTCARD poem from where you LIVE

We are still using our EYES in the month of March to write poems.

Try writing a postcard poem from where you LIVE.

Use your eyes to collect all the LITTLE things and the BIG things you can see where you live.

Put some of them in a poem. Find some delicious words to show me what they are like.

Real DETAIL will make your poem SHINE.

 

Your poem is like the p i c t u r e  on the front of the postcard!

Use your ears to see how many words you put on a line.

 

You can send your poem in for the EYE-poem challenge.

DEADLINE for your Eye-Poem Challenge: Thursday March 27th

Send to paulajoygreen@gmail.com. Include your name, year, age and name of school. You can include your teacher’s name and email. PLEASE say it’s for the eye-poem challenge.

I will post my favourites and have a book prize for one poet. I might be able to give you a copy of the book.

similes are EYE catching … give it a go

Similes are way to give your poem extra zing.

Similes can be EYE catching.

I always hunt for a few when I need one … then I test them out and choose my favourite.

Sometimes a poem gets an extra spark with just one EXTRA good simile.

Sometimes you can use a truck load of similes.

 

H e r e    i s     a    c h a  l  l e n g e:

Pick an animal.

Write down all the important parts of the animal (colour, kind of skin, ears, pattern, trunk, special things like tusks and so on).

Find similes for some of them.

Write a short poem about that animal using just one EXTRA good simile.

Write another poem using as many similes as you like but only use your favourite ones.

LISTEN to your poem.

Get a friend or someone in your family to tell you which simile catches their EYE!

 

You can enter this in the Eye-Poem Challenge.

DEADLINE for your Eye-Poem Challenge: Thursday March 27th

Send to paulajoygreen@gmail.com. Include your name, year, age and name of school. You can include your teacher’s name and email. PLEASE say it’s for the eye-poem challenge.

I will post my favourites and have a book prize for one poet.